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Learning to surrender control

Every Sunday (in this weeks case Monday), Arti Kashyap-Aynsley drops by to discuss all the many things we may be facing, feeling or going through in our day to day lives.

Being bold and brave means so many things to everyone out there. In last weeks’ post we talked about the importance of self-promotion and having the confidence to toot your own horn, be proud of what you achieve and the ability to just showcase that without feeling any remorse.

This week I have been dealing with another thing that ties closely to our monthly theme the idea of control and our ability to let go and surrender – to have faith in something more than yourself and to know it will all just work out as it should in the end.

Here is a simple story and likely the reason this post is coming a day late this week – Last week I went on holiday. Truth be told I have been in a place with life where it has all gotten a bit much – between it all I have just felt absolutely suffocated but at the same time completely attached to it all because I constantly feel like I need to hold on to maintain control. So finally, I forced a break and went on a girl’s trip to Croatia. From the moment I got to the airport I could feel the pains of anxiety disappear and my sense of relaxation begin to take over and it all seemed to stay like that until I woke up in Croatia and realised the world outside of my holiday bubble was ticking along.

It’s my fault for not having two mobile phones and therefore constant access to work email. It is also my fault for not being able to leave well alone and not check any emails while on holiday. Anyhow as I woke up and began to scroll, feelings of anxiety entered back as I was overtaken by this need to respond to emails that I felt questioned my ability and / or work I had done. I felt threatened and unable to defend myself especially with out the comfort of my lap top. But after a few email replies, I felt the anxiety disappear and as I lay there in the sun, I began to wonder what would have happened if I had not responded. If I had respected the boundary I set up and just waited until I got back.

I responded to feel in control, but could the same response be seen as not being in control? And do I just need to have a bit more faith in myself to just respect my boundaries?

I mean this is one simple example, but if you take it and extrapolate it – how often do stories like this emerge in our lives? How often do we micromanage our day to day in an effort to control the outcomes and things around us with out realising that sometimes we have to just surrender and have faith that it all works out in the time that it should irrespective of what the path to get there looks like.

Now I know not everyone out there will believe in this idea of trusting the universe, so it may not be that but instead just this idea that to be brave and bold means to understand we don’t and can’t control it all and sometimes just have to accept that and continue to move forward with faith and trust in ourselves.

There is a great podcast I happened to listen to on my way to the airport last week by Oprah – it is her super soul Sunday podcast and the episode I am referring to is the one with Gabrielle Bernstein, entitled “The universe has your back”. This episode uses many different examples to highlight this idea of letting go, but it also provides some mantra’s, meditations and thoughts to leave you thinking and trusting a bit more.

The one thing I walked away with most from this episode (and I walked away with a lot from this one!) is a new mantra for myself to begin to help me ease the amount I try to control things at times “obstacles are detours in the right direction.”

Remember that as you lean into this new week in embracing the idea of being both brave and bold.

With love and gratitude,

Arti aka. The Wellness Chief and Your Resident Coach xx

P.S. Don’t forget to keep posting your photos in conjunction with our #ItsABeBoldMovement – refer to last week’s column for details.

Have a topic you want me to address in the weekly column and / or are keen to look at the idea of coaching in general and / or coaching with me, please drop me a note at I offer free taster sessions and am always open to hosting exploratory calls as a starter.

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