Every Sunday, Arti Kashyap-Aynsley drops by to discuss all the many things we may be facing, feeling or going through with our daily life transformations. Share your questions and / or requests for topics with Arti anonymously at firstname.lastname@example.org
Value, is defined as the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something and / or principles or standards of behaviour; one’s judgement of what is important in life.
There are so many things you can take from the definition above, but for me the one thing that resonates most is the part that says “something is held to deserve”.
Lately this idea of value – especially the “to deserve” component - in the context of myself, my clients, friends and colleagues has come into question. There seems to be this constant question irrespective of whether you are climbing the corporate ladder, starting a business, raising a family (happy Mother’s Day to all those mums out there – today is Mother’s Day in the UK), holding a role in someone’s life (i.e., a partner, friend, sibling, daughter, etc.) and / or trying to stretch and challenge yourself of whether you are deserving and / or worthy of whatever it is you are focused on.
Why is that? Why are we constantly struggling with understanding the value we hold, offer or stand for? And why do we always feel the need to justify our place in it all?
I mean I am no stranger to this conundrum. As someone who has shifted the direction of her corporate career in the past year, while starting to grow a side hustle and settle into the new role of being a wife, I find myself constantly justifying and questioning my value.
But it isn’t just me facing this and that I know.
This past week I spent some time with a client who is starting her own clothing business whom sat in front of me trying to justify why she needed to charge the price she needed to and how she felt so guilty for doing it since she is just starting out and doesn’t come with years of fashion experience.
But does that even matter? I mean her brand, story and vision stand for more than enough and shouldn’t that be what helps her see her value?
All logical questions for her to consider, but when we are stuck in these negative and questioning thought patterns it is hard for us to pull ourselves out of it and see the truth it what we offer.
So, what can we do? What tools can we use to help us start to turn things around?
There are so many mindset activities we can do to help us overcome these thought patterns and allow us to see our value – we can write lists, set papers on fire, tear things up, I mean there is no limit to the dramatic effect we can have. But my big thing is around keeping things simple. If an exercise / activity seems onerous and / or time-consuming people get overwhelmed and walk away. And I really want to inspire change in a way that empowers you to keep at it in the long run.
So here is the challenge.
If any of this resonates with you and / or you are feeling stuck in this thought pattern that is stopping you from propelling forward, I encourage you to first set a time period that seems feasible (e.g., 7, 14, 21, 30 days or more), then get a notebook and pen and for the duration selected take 10-15 minutes at the end of each day to write out the 3 instances from your day where you brought value to it (these can be anything within the context of your professional and personal life) and continue to add to this list each night for the duration of days you selected. As you grow this list each night, take some time in the mornings before you kick off your day to read through the list to start with a reminder of all the value you are capable of bringing.
Here is to starting out a new week and month with the objective of beginning to understand and lead with the value we know we can bring.
Also have a topic you want me to address in the weekly column and / or are looking to explore the idea of coaching or relationship or looking for a coach? I would love to help and see how I can support you. Please drop me a note at email@example.com and remember, all emails are treated as confidential.