Every Sunday, Arti Kashyap-Aynsley drops by to discuss all the many things we may be facing, feeling or going through with our daily life transformations. Share your questions and / or requests for topics with Arti anonymously at firstname.lastname@example.org
Here is the thing – I grew up focused on being everything to everyone, a perpetual people pleaser you could say. I did everything I could to squeeze everything in and what that usually meant was that time for me (#METIME) was the last thing on the list. I found myself racing through the minutes, hours and days and when I could squeeze that me time in, I would be consumed with guilt or focused on the next thing, which meant I was never really present and able to enjoy the time for myself.
I know I am not the only one that has struggled with this. Am I right?
Especially as women, we are constantly living off of a to do list, where if only days were extended to 72 hours long would be feel as though we could do all the things we need to and then maybe have a minute to ourselves. We have so many competing priorities and expectations on us – raising families, growing businesses, climbing the corporate ladder, being a wife, partner, best friend, family member, I mean the list could go on for days.
How did we end up with so much on our plate and the expectations of being everything for everyone and yet nothing for ourselves? And at what point do we draw the line?
Now I am not saying that we let all the balls drop and go on a complete strike. But there has to be a balance or a drive to just make sure we aren’t constantly pouring from an empty cup. Am I right?
For me it took the abrupt end of a chapter of my life I thought would be my forever to really come head on with the realisation that I was doing myself no favours by going at the pace I was going. All those years of all that running around only left me exhausted, unsure of who I was and unaware of where I was heading. And I know that is likely one extreme end of the scale. But the point I am trying to make is it took something quite difficult for me to handle to really have a “wake up call” and what I would have preferred was to just have been more aware and / or had more power or knowledge to recognise signs that would have allowed me to be more proactive.
So, the question is how can we be more proactive? How can we give ourselves the time we need to just stop, reflect and breath in a space that serves us?
There is one answer to the above that is – Start small and keep it simple (okay so maybe that was two answers).
Often times we don’t do anything about prioritising ourselves because we think it will take too much time out from doing all the things we have to do, e.g., that 45 minute gym class + the commute + the whole looking normal process post that, the spa day that will take hours to recover from, that chapter we need to finish reading in the most relaxing environment and so forth.
So, by starting small and keeping it simple, we remove all the excessive things that allow us to make excuses for not committing to “us time”.
So, here is the challenge. If any of this blog resonates with you and / or you just find it hard to give yourself that space you need, allocate 10 minutes as a start to you. Block it in your diary, make an appointment with yourself, do what you need to. And just do you for 10 minutes a day. Shut your phone, sit in a quite space and breath, go for a walk, journal, do whatever serves you. And as you get comfortable with that 10 minutes, maybe press that dial a bit and up that time - and if you can't just guard those 10 minutes a day. Make it sacred, make it all about what you need and what serves you.
Here is to beginning to prioritise ourselves and getting comfortable with understanding that making time for us is not selfish but rather necessary to be those Superwomen we aim to be.
Also have a topic you want me to address in the weekly column and / or are looking to explore the idea of coaching or relationship or looking for a coach? I would love to help and see how I can support you. Please drop me a note at email@example.com and remember, all emails are treated as confidential.