Every Sunday, Arti Kashyap-Aynsley drops by to discuss all the many things we may be facing, feeling or going through with our daily life transformations. Share your questions and / or requests for topics with Arti anonymously at firstname.lastname@example.org
If you had to write out all the things that have caused you stress and / or grief in the past week what would they look like?
I can tell you what mine would have been – a list of political things to have to navigate through in my corporate life, the question of time and squeezing it all in, the prioritisation of my to do list which has seemed never ending as of late, the things I want to make time for in my outside of full time work life, the question of life timing and when I should do what, sleeping enough, I mean how long do you have to listen to it all?
Just thinking about the whole list makes me feel the impact it has been having on my cortisol and hormone levels lately. It’s likely why I have been feeling like I could cry at any and every moment including at the barrister at my local coffee shop getting my order wrong.
Why do daily stresses and grievances have this impact on us? And is there a way to alter the impact we let these things have?
The answer is a resounding, YES we can alter the impact we let these things have on us through the power of perspective.
Take for example this – waking up today and having opportunities such as reading this blog is a sheer miracle. Why? Because about 151,600 people won’t. That number is the global daily mortality rate, which is roughly the size of a small town and / or multiple villages if you think about it in UK terms. That means the simple act of opening your eyes this morning was a miracle and if you compound that in terms of thinking about whether the 5 people closest to you did the same, well that is even more of a miracle.
Seems almost dramatic to think about life in that way, but the reality is, it is actually quite a powerful way to look at things.
So often we get caught up in complete and utter tunnel vision, a.k.a. bubble life that we let all these small things that really don’t mean that much in the grand scheme of things impact our daily outlook, bodies and minds, along with those around us.
In listening to story’s like Syreeta Challinger’s who will be a special part of the next Ladies who Launch event we recognise that often times it is when something life altering happens, we gain perspective.
But why do we have to wait? And is there a way to pull ourselves out of the tunnel we so often get stuck in without needing something life altering to happen?
We don’t have to wait and there is a way to pull ourselves out in the same way that we rely on tools like journaling, gratitude and to do lists, mindfulness, and so forth. It takes a bit of time and it definitely takes a whole lot of inner self talk, but the more we start to do things to train our minds out of this “stuck” place, the better and more relaxed we start to feel and the less impacted we are by those little things that don’t really seem to matter as much. And the truth is that often times that little bit of perspective causes us to absolutely shine in everything we try to do. Just think back to last week’s column and that idea of not putting so much focus on the outcomes we want.
So how do we gain this perspective. Macro lists, which can look like daily gratitude lists and / or just simply a daily list of 5-10 things that help us gain that perspective, e.g., the world still exists today, global warming hasn’t killed us all yet, my football team won the FA cup, etc. or I am so grateful for being alive, I am so grateful my heart is beating normally, I am so grateful I got to have protein oats for breakfast, etc.
The key is to remind yourself CONSTANTLY of that bigger picture and not let yourself get into that tunnel or bubble.
Trust me I am right here next to you on that road to constantly maintaining perspective and it isn’t always easy, but we got each other to constantly remind ourselves and keep ourselves in that macro picture.
Some tools that I have found useful on my path to perspective and that I can recommend are:
Let that sh*t go book (getting released in the UK in June) - https://www.letthatshitgothebook.com/blog
Syreeta & Rob Challinger Ted Talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiXfQeMo-U4
David Neagle – The Successful Mind Podcast – specifically episode 47, the four agreements part II – Don’t take anything personally
Happy Bank Holiday to those of you in the UK, looking so forward to meeting you all at our next event, don’t forget to sign up here.
Signing off this Sunday with a lot of love and clear visions thanks to this Long Weekend rest I have been getting.
Arti a.k.a. The_Wellness_Chief xx
I know that it isn’t always easy to gain that perspective. Trust me even I have been working with a coach to help me with this and my self-talk is on a rampage right now trying to rewire my brain. If you are struggling and / or want to continue the conversation please contact me on Instagram at either @the_wellness_chief or @ladieswholaunch_
Also have a topic you want me to address in the weekly column and / or are looking to explore the idea of coaching or keen to know a bit more about how I could support you as a coach? I would love to discuss and hear from you, so please drop me a note at email@example.com and remember, all emails are treated as confidential.